Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Back in the Saddle

This weekend I did my first wedding in ten months. I was nervous-would I still have IT? Would I still be able to pull it off? I thought I might have lost my edge (along with my short term memory and fashion sense) when I had my daughter. It has been a long time for me to be professionally dormant. Especially from the days of doing 40 something weddings a season.
The night went perfectly, professionally speaking. But it was hard, personally. I haven't been away from Ava for more than a few hours since she was born. Until Saturday. My husband put her to bed, I missed a nursing session and I didn't get home until way after she was asleep. I kept a picture of her in my suit jacket pocket, just so I could take a peek at that little face every now and then.
My husband called me just as I was orchestrating the bride and groom's announcement into their reception. "How do I get her to stop crying?!?" My heart sank-how do women do it? How can you have it all, when it is so hard? I needed to be 110% present with this couple, on a most important day of their lives, to ensure their once in a lifetime celebration went smoothly-to exceed their expectations. But the only place I wanted to be was rocking my baby to sleep. The only place I really needed to be was at home. Hard times.
I told my husband, " I can't help now" what else could I do? I put a smile on my face and opened the door to the reception, a booming voice from the band called out, "It is my pleasure to announce Mr. and Mrs. Kelley..." the guests cheered. The bride looked at me and whispered, "Thank you". She was happy. I can do this, it is worth it, I love my job. This is why I started this business, to make a difference in people's lives, to help them, to give them a once in a lifetime, perfect milestone.
As dinner was being served, my phone vibrated in my pocket. It was a text message from my husband, "Finally asleep." it read. I breathed a sigh of relief and felt happy-balanced, whole. My baby was okay, my bride was okay, everything would be okay.
As the Hora began and the guests started dancing in a circle, lifting the groom up in a chair, all clapping and joyous, I felt grateful for how full life is and how lucky I am. I went home with sore high heeled feet and checked in on my sleeping baby. Maybe you can have it all.

No comments: